I. TOB intro (Quickly Supply the context of the TOB in narrative fashion)
a. The story of the TOB is one of the great spiritual battles of our times. It began in the 60’s when opposition to almost everything that had withstood the test of time was in vogue. Most of all was the widespread opposition to the Church’s teaching on birth control, a necessary component of “free love”. Rebellion in the name of independence and freedom were everywhere. This was only the first stage of the battle.
b. Not long after this the forces of Good began their counter offensive. A very distressed Pope John 23rd called a commision to determine how to respond to this alarming situation . This commision ended up divided on the issue. The majority advised the pope to change the Church’s teaching on contraception, (and this was leaked to the media), making everyone think that this was a doctrine whose days were numbered. However, the minority’s statement to the pope was that the immorality of contraception had always been incontrovertibly held by the Church to be immoral in every and all circumstances. This statement was signed by the future Pope John Paul II, even though the communists tried to keep him from playing a part in this commission…
c. In 1968 Pope Paul VI promulgated his landmark encyclical “Humanae Vitae” to settle once and for all the question of the morality of contraception. It calls for a full explanation of the human person, an “adequate anthropology” in order to explain the fact that no matter what good intentions a couple may have for contracepting, this can never change the fact that it is always immoral, no matter what…
d. Less than 24 hours later, 200 big name theologians took out an ad in the New York Times directing people to disregard what the Pope had written and to “follow their own consciences”. In effect, staging a coup of Church authority
e. However, it was at that very time that Karol Wojtyla, God’s dark horse from Poland and the future John Paul II, began work on what would,10 years later, be promulgated by the pontiff in what would be the final stroke in this battle of epic proportions. At the very beginning of his reign as Pope, John Paul announced to the world the adequate anthropology called for by Paul VI… It would amount to the greatest explanation of Catholic belief about the human person in all of Church history: It is known as The Theology of the Body.
f. The TOB is an explanation of Scripture’s teaching that we were made in the image of God and that if we want to find the ultimate fulfillment in our relationships and in life, we must live out being the image of God. It is John Paul’s way of explaining the why behind the Church’s infallible (and unchanging) teachings on sex and marriage.
g. Without the TOB, our society does not realize what kind of love God made us for and this is why half of all marraiges fail, why more Americans are killed every day in abortion than the number of people killed in the September 11th attacks, and why the degedation of women is still, even after the so-called feminist revolution, a major problem in the media and in society.
II Jesus is the image of the invisible God… Read Eph 5: 21-32, this is where all these teachings are in Scripture (1. God’s love defines true love. It was revealed on the cross.)
a. Jesus is how we come to know what God is like in Himself
b. We see this most of all on the cross, the high point of revelation
c. On the cross, Jesus shows us true love by giving His body in a full, free, faithful, and fruitful way; (two examples of each)
III Man is the image of God (as love) (2. We were made for marriage.) : the nuptial meaning of the body
a. God is the form and we are the “clay”, He made us in his image so that we could be united with him and with others (heaven is union with God and others)
b. And he is a unity of body and soul; (much like the “dirt” and “water” in clay, not at all like a hand in a glove) the body also expresses the person, it makes visible what is invisible. This means the body is like a sacrament. It makes the invisible visible.
c. Thus the body bears the image of God in it (and thus it deserves respect or it "has dignity"). It is not just a part of nature, a physical object, it is the visible dimension of a spiritual being.
d. Particularly in his sexuality which is the aspect of him that makes him most able to love as God loves: to be an image of Jesus’ gift of self on the cross
e. Through the complimentary sexes (Monica's talk), humankind is able to give their entire self to their spouse, communing with them so much as to become one "flesh" and in a way that is fruitful (Gen: “In the image of God He created them, male and female He created them.”)
f. We were meant to be made in the image of God: that is why the child born of a rape feels a certain anger about the first sin commited against him. That is also why experts agree that it is best for children to be raised in a two parent household…
g. Everyone feels the desire to "know" and be known… It is the desire to love and be loved in return. This is a confirmation of being made in the image of God and a drive toward fulfilling this image
h. The point: When we fulfill the image in which we were made, we find happiness
IV Man can only find himself in a sincere giving of self(3. How to live marriage properly.)
a. We were made to be given. If we are to find happiness, we too must find a way to give ourselves; Marriage is an authentic expression of the gift of self inscribed in the body
b. Marriage is a sacramental participation in the true Love of God shown by Jesus on the cross
c. What does a “sacrament” mean? A sacrament is something that makes the invisible visible.
d. Sex makes marriage a sacrament (fine print: as long as it makes Jesus’ invisible love for the Church visible… If it makes another kind of “love” visible, then it is not a sacrament. –ex)Baptising in tar, Eucharist with pizza and beer.)
e. How can sex make Jesus’ love visible? It images Jesus on the cross when it is a gift of self (not like porn) that is full, free, faithful, and fruitful
i. full: they hold nothing back; give future until death (wait until vows to have sex/sex outside of marriage), give fertility (contraception), share money and space [what if Jesus had said the opposite?]
ii. free: nothing holds them back; they are not addicted or physically dependant on each other, free to say yes or no, not financially dependant (cohabit/75% divorce rate) AND they give freely, not in order to get something: status, money, nice house, sex, kids, clean dishes, a nice looking yard, etc. [what if Jesus had said the opposite?]
iii. faithful: with forgiveness it is possible to have a marriage that lasts, marriages that last must have divorce as completely not an option no matter what (ask a possible fiance his/her opinion: when do you think it is understandable that someone got a divorce?) [separation for safety's sake is another matter] [what if Jesus had said the opposite?]
iv. fruitful: couples whose love is true desire for it to go beyond themselves; obviously contra, receiving the children the Lord sends AND not treating kids like a right, but remembering they are a gift (I will make them come if God doesn't: I will take into my own hands being the Lord of Life, just like in contraception and abortion) [what if Jesus had said the opposite?]
v. In fact, "Sexual desire is the desire to love as God loves." –Pope JPII
f. Include practice questions: signs and “Which of the four f’s does this one break?”
g. The pope includes in "marriage" that gift of self by which a person offers their sexuality to God alone in the religious life or priesthood
V How these ideas apply to singles
a. The TOB points out that there are two kinds of relationships: those which are for discerning marriage and those which are just in it for what they get can get out of the other person. (draw this out for them)
b. A good question to ask is: Am I interested in entering into the kind of nuptial (and redeeming) love shown by Jesus on the cross with this person? Are they interested in it?
c. Modesty is how we help others to see us as persons, thus we protect ourselves from being used and we love the other by helping them not to lust. If the body makes me, a person with great dignity, visible, how should I dress? In a way that highlights my dignity, rather than destroys it. In a way that helps keep my relationship in the “discernment” category and not in the “using” category.
d. Among those who date to discern, there are those who leave the body out (which is bad in the opposite direction we normally think of), and those who allow the body to make their relationship visible. This sacramental view of the body in the relationship can be applied in an infinite number of good directions (i.e. when my fiancé and I helped to give birth to a man into eternal life on the first Divine Mercy Sunday, or by maintaining friendships with others of the opp. sex besides my date, since we are not married)
e. Among those who involve the body in their relationships there are those who do so in a truthful way (where the body makes visible the invisible relationship they actually have) and those who lie with their bodies: who make visible a relationship they don’t actually have-sex
f. Among those who don’t have sex there are those who enter into the acts of sex without going “all the way.” These acts, which help to get ready for sex are actually a part of having holy sex in marriage. They express a marriage relationship. Even this is a way to lie with the body.
g. Those who don’t lie with their bodies but who still allow their bodies to express the relationship they actually have are said to have the virtue of chastity. A self control which has the power to do good things without letting them go astray. This means never intentionally trying to sexually arouse another person, while still allowing room for showing your sexuality: I.e. flirting, innocent kisses, holding each other, holding hands, spending time alone with each other, stroking hair, etc. Ex) There are two ways to slow dance. I’m talking about the kind you dance with your brother…
VI Some boundaries for relationships-"defining the relationship"
a. The body must make visible the relationship that actually exists invisibly, otherwise we are using our bodies to lie.
b. Married people make visible through their bodies (sex) the deepest level of relationship that two human beings can have (we have seen above how they can use their bodies to lie). Thus NFP is essential.
c. Singles do not have this kind of relationship with one another, and this is why the Church is against them having sex with one another (Jesus is the Truth, He does not want us to lie)
d. And, part of having sex includes those actions by which we prepare the other person for it. These actions cannot be divorced from sex and still be considered loving any more than dangling a carrot in front of a person that you have intentionally starved can be considered loving.
e. This is why we need the self mastery called chastity: to be able to love others without lying about our relationship or using the other against their God given dignity; to be able to direct our sexual energy towards true love and not towards lying or lust
f. This takes a great deal of spiritual strength or virtue
g. But this virtue makes us truly free (how free is a person who has no choice but to lust, who is unable to choose otherwise?)
VII You have the power!
a. God’s grace given to us on the cross is more powerful than all of hell.
b. Because of the four f’s you can easily tell what is a good way to embody your relationship and what is a sin which means you can guard and defend your relationships against the temptations that are trying to keep you from the marriage of your dreams.
c. With prayer, mortification, communication about when we find some action of our date a tempation to lie with our bodies, and a sacramental life, we will find the strenght necessary to fight the battle for a truthful relationship. This strenght is called chastity.
d. If you have made mistakes in this area, now is the perfect time to set your relationships back on track by going to confession and if necessary to counseling with a good Catholic therapist.
e. We were made for heaven and our job here on earth is to get ready… we never know how much time we have left!
VIII Conclusion
a. Sex was made by God to be a visible sign of His invisible love for us, shown by Jesus on the cross (Eph 5)
b. This is why sexual desire is a gift from God that propels us toward heaven
c. When we take advantage of our desire appropriately, it will lead us to the greatest happiness possible, helping us to avoid the pitfalls of unhappy breakups, etc. leading us to the marriage of our dreams!
