Theology of the Body Evangelization Team - TOBET
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Marriage and the Theology of the Body

To Parents of Teens in LifeTeen St. Ann’s Parish Coppell, Texas November 16, 2008

By Monica Ashour, MTS; M Hum

The Theology of the Body Evangelization Team - TOBET © 2008
 

 I.   Intro—Story about police and snow

The points I would like to cover:
1.        What is Christianity, Trinitarian Theology and the Catholic Church and its relationship to JP II’s TOB, all centered in the Incarnate Son.
2.       The term Theology of the Body—audiences, 2 meanings, goal.
3.       Why it is so pertinent now in this day and age. Marriage’s beauty—serving as an icon for the Trinity and participating in Jesus’ marriage to the Church. The most important words of the universe
 
II.  What is Christianity? Not simply following Jesus but LIVING IN Him, in His Body so as to share in the Divine Life and Love between the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit which is nothing other than Grace.
Scripture: Col 3:3: “After all, you have died! Your life is hidden now with Christ in God.”
Gal 2:20: “For I am crucified with Christ, and yet I live. Not I but Christ who lives within me.”
Col 1:24: The Mystery of Christ in you, your hope of glory.”
Phil 3:9: “I may be in Him.”
Eph. 4:24: “You must put on that new man.”
Gal 6:17: “I bear the brandmarks of Jesus in my body.”
2 Cor. 13:3ff: “We live with Him by God’s power in us….Perhaps you yourselves do not realize that Christ Jesus is in you….Our prayer is that you may be built up to completion.”
 
The Catholic Church knows that the central mystery of the Christian faith, the Trinity, is our goal and the only way to participate in God’s life and love is through Jesus, our Savior. The reason for this is that Jesus is divine and human. This is Pope John Paul’s central message in the Theology of the Body, the “most suitable education for humans.” This is because the Incarnation, the 2nd most central teaching, is the hinge of Christianity, holding the human and divine together. Here is what I call the Catholic AND’s.
 
Body   Soul
Reason   Faith
Material A Spiritual
Natural Works N Supernatural Grace
Objective Truth D Subjective Experience
Communal   Individual
Tradition   Scripture
Time   Eternity
     
Secularism   Protestantism

I love being Catholic!! We do not only have to choose God or only have to choose man. We choose both, because we have both in Jesus Christ, the God-man. And the only way to God is via humanity to our elevated nature we are given at baptism. Diagram of Condensed Version. per se, which you will see relates to this above discussion.
 
A.  The Body reveals the person and therefore the central aspects of the person.
1.        We have a soul—we know we are here because our bodies reveal us. (St. Paul’s teachings)
2.       We would not know others without our bodies to receive the other—our ears hear, our eyes see. We need our bodies.
3.       Our bodies “speak” a language, says Pope John Paul. And so we need to “re-read” the “language of the body.”
i.     Male—rough, tough, and buff—meant to protect, provide, pursue
ii.     female—hiding, inviting, and exciting—meant to conceal and reveal slowly (“apokalyps”—unveiling), welcome, nurture, give mission/adventure.
4.       Application to Marriage. 
i.     Men: Before marriage…the husband did everything to “capture” his beloved…poetry, star-gazing, flowers, jewelry, etc. Why does taking a vow negate such living the “language of the body”? Shouldn’t it be the opposite?
ii.     Women: Before marriage…the wife did everything to attract—conceal and reveal, flirt properly by nice dress, affirming words, make-up, beautiful hair, etc. Why does taking a vow negate such living the “language of the body”? Shouldn’t it be the opposite!
iii.     Reality check: CHILDREN, bills and more bills. How does one juggle all of these things yet keep the romance?
B.  The Body reveals God.
1.        All humans have arms to hug others, lips to kiss loved ones, etc. (Not orcs)—why did God make us as such? To show we were meant to go toward the other to be gifts to others to form a communion of persons—how is that like God? God’s inner life is LOVE, a communion of persons, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
2.       The complementarity of the sexes reveals God because the body of a man and of a woman are signs to go toward the other as a gift to form a Communion of persons.
i.     Genesis 2:18: “It is not good for man (Adam) to be alone.” God made our bodies to show us that we were meant to be in friendship with others (communion of persons). Original Unity.
ii.     Genesis 2:25: “The man and woman were naked and unashamed.” This shows that they knew that were to be gifts to one another and that they would not use (the opposite of love) the other. They knew because of the complementarity of the bodies that they can say, “This is my body, given,” and so know the meaning of life which is to give.
 
The body reveals God because the male and female bodies go together, and so a husband and wife form a “one-flesh union” (Eph. 5 and Gen 2), making a communion of persons. The deepest thing that can be said about God, “God is love” (1 Jn 4) has everything to do about God being a communion of persons in God’s very nature—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit loving each other from all eternity. Pope John Paul II called the Trinity the First Family.
 
IV.  Marriage—A participation in Christ’s Marriage to His Bride, The Church
A.      We know how God loves by looking at the Cross, where Jesus, the Bridegroom, shed His flesh and blood for his beloved Bride, the Church. Remember the 4 F’s: Free, full, faithful, and fruitful. This is how all couples are to love.
a.       Jesus loves freely: He says, “I lay down my life; no one takes it from me.”
b.       Jesus loves fully: He holds nothing back, even going to the point of shedding His flesh and blood.
c.       Jesus loves faithfully: At any point, He could have decided not to give His life for us, but He remained committed…so committed, He says, “And I will be with you until the end of time,” and He is: in the Eucharist. He remains truly present to us in His Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity, until the end of time.
d.       Jesus loves fruitfully: If He did not, we would not be saved, for, as Pope John Paul says, “The first fruit of the Cross is the Holy Spirit,” He Whom we receive at Baptism. If Christ was not fruitful, if He had not “handed over His Spirit,” we would all be damned.
B.      All true marriages not only reflect but bring God’s life and love (otherwise called Grace) to bear on the earth. (Diagram of Parallels)
a.       Husbands and wives should love freely. Even as a couple goes through hurt, hard times, doubts….Those are times to be reminded of the free vows made and to enter in to those words, once again. One’s freedom cannot be taken away.
b.       Husbands and wives should love fully. They are to hold nothing back. Bank accounts shared. One’s time is geared toward and for the other (caveat—if one needs “space” it is to recharge oneself so as to love the spouse). Spouses should say, “Honey, I give you my emotions, my imagination, my money, my time, my gifts…but not my fertility???” No, what contraception does is it goes the “language of the body.” Instead of a full gift, a barrier is put up. It is a lie. (Act out movie scene) (Caveat: This is why Natural Family Planning is licit; when it is prudent for the couple not to conceive a child, they do not engage in the marital embrace when the wife is fertile. She does not HAVE her fertility to give most of the month, and therefore she is giving all during intercourse at the time of her infertility.
c.       Husbands and wives should love faithfully. This entails not just fidelity regarding sexual relations but also with regard to one’s sharing of emotions and one’s use of the imagination. Women especially sometimes might share too much with someone (her mom?!) about her husband (caveat: there are some trusted friends that woman need to connect with) or simply about her feelings, but she does not open up to her husband. Men especially sometimes allow their imaginations to go in ways not faithful to their wives. This is the violation especially that pornography entails.
d.       Husbands and wives should love fruitfully. This is not only in regard to being open to kids; rather, couples should seek to find how they are to impact the Church and society fruitfully. Have you ever thought about the word, Matrimony? It means, “mother’s mission.” All marriages are to bear fruit.  
C.      The parallel between Marriage and the Mass (the Liturgy)(see chart at bottom)
a.       Indeed, marriage is holy because each one participates in Jesus’ love for his bride, the Church…and by being one with Him and His Body, we enter into the life and love of the Blessed Trinity. 
b.       Pope John Paul goes to the “cutting edge.” Here is something “radical”—literally, “going to the root of things.”
i.     He says that when a married couple engages in marital intercourse, they do not LOSE their virginity…they become more virginal. Think about it…in the Garden of Eden with Adam and  Eve, they were in the virginal garden, totally who they are supposed to be.
ii.     He says that when a married couple engages in marital intercourse, they are engaging in an act that gets rid of the devil, second only to the Mass.
iii.     He says that when a married couple engages in marital intercourse, it is a form of WORSHIP!! (SEE CHART).

V.  Conclusion—Living in Christ: This is my Body, given, the most important words of the universe.ys, “This is my body,” to you and to me. We are His mystical body. Jesus is not only a model for us. We live in Him, “I live no longer I but Christ lives in me” such that we can with Our Blessed Mother who of all people could say most profoundly because of Her Son who had lived in her wound, say:
 
  • This is my body, given when your parents are frail and you must care for them.
  • This is my body, given when your son or daughter, grandson or granddaughter dies for our country.
  • This is my body, given to your colleagues as you help them with the daily task at hand.
  • This is my body, given to the poor and needy.
  • This is my body, given as you receive your husbands, not only in conjugal love but in all aspects of marriage.
  • This is my body, given as you listen untiringly to your son or daughter in the mistreatment he/she receives from classmates.
  • This is my body, given as you cook and sweep and mop and discipline and nurture.
  • This is my body, given to you, my children, when your children are nursing or sick or acting up or returning a smile to you in response to the love you gave.
  • This is my body, given as you crawl into bed after having spent your whole day being spent, being poured out without a break, such that you think you may die of exhaustion,
  • This is my body, given…at the time of our death…knowing we lived as a gift for others, finally giving our last breath to the Father to spend eternity with Him, His Son, and the Holy Spirit—along with all the saints and angels in the ultimate communion of persons…filled with joy and fulfillment because with our bodies we not only reflected God but we participated in the Life of Jesus by giving.

Receiving Holy Communion    
  • Every time we receive the Eucharist, it is a renewal of our baptismal vows.
  • If we receive Jesus worthily, we become more whole, more holy.
  • The words Jesus spoke at the Last Supper were ratified on the Cross through action which we participate in at Mass.
  • In receiving Jesus in the Eucharist, we become more open to spiritual fruitfulness in our lives.
  • Through the Eucharist, we share in a 1-flesh union.
  • At Mass, we enter into the highest Liturgical form of worship—by being one-flesh with the Son, we can offer our lives to the Father in the power of the Holy Spirit.
 The Marital Embrace
  • Every time the couple engages in the marital intercourse, they are renewing their wedding vows.
  • If the couple receives each other worthily, they become more whole, more holy. In fact, the Pope does something amazing with the word virginity. He says the couple becomes more virginal, more integrated, body and soul, just as Adam and Eve were virginal, whole, integrated before the Fall.
  • The words the couple spoke at their wedding are ratified in their sacred bed.
  • In the marital embrace, the couple is open to physical and spiritual fruitfulness in their lives.
  • In consummation, the couple shares in a 1-flesh union.
  • Marital intercourse becomes a form of worship!! The Holy Father puts it this way: In marital union, “man and woman encounter the ‘great mystery’ (sacrament). . . .In this way conjugal life becomes in a certain sense liturgical” (380). The marital embrace is worship.
 
 
The Parallels between Receiving Holy Communion and the Marital Embrace come from Christopher West's Marriage and the Eucharist
 
 

 

Monica Ashour can be contacted at mashour@tobet.org or by phone at 972-849-6543

The Theology of the Body Evangelization Team can be reached at info@tobet.org