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TOBET-Chastity Talk-3 Part Series
Mary Immaculate Parish, Farmer's Branch
January 18, February 1, February 8, 2006
7th and 8th Graders Catechesis Class
PART ONE-Jan 18
Talk 1-Intro to TOB: Body reveals the Person; the Body reveals God (made to help/love others in the similarities
among humans (re: bodies-arms for hugging, lips for kissing loved ones, eyes for crying with others to comfort, etc)
and in the complementarity of males and females (the differences show we are meant to be in a communion of persons
(friendship with each other) and that is who God is: the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are always in friendship with
each other/communion of persons. "Naked and unashamed" is such an important Scripture verse, Pope John Paul says,
because they knew they could form a family together-they were not going to use each other.
Talk 2- We can be persons of integrity. Body and soul ought to correspond. Jesus speaks of purity of heart,
and then our actions ought to reflect that inner truthfulness. So the opposite is lying with the body
(going against what Pope John Paul says is the "language of the body" which should reflect love and respect in
truthfulness to other). Ways of lying with the body include cheating-my body (my arm) hands in an assignment,
but interiorly, I know I did not do it-I am lying. Stealing-my body (my hand) grabs something that is not mine,
but I use it as if I own it-I am lying with my body. Gossiping-I use my body (my mouth) to say bad things about
someone, while at other times pretending that I am a good friend of that person-I am lying with my body.
Sexual activity outside of marriage-remember, in marriage, such actions are good, holy, and loving; in fact,
God made them SACRED. Outside of marriage, I am lying with my body if I kiss passionately or touch another
intimately because those actions say I am married to you, but they are not married. I am lying with my body.
So, don't say, I care about you so much that I am going to do THIS thing with you….No. That is a lie.
At least be honest-I just want you for my physical pleasure….and you girls, just say, "I have low self-esteem so
I will use you by allowing you to use me so I can pretend that you like me when I know you and I could care less
about each other.
But, we can be persons of integrity again. We can be whole. Jesus can give us His strength, His Grace not to lie
with our bodies in all of these ways. We can be pure through His love…which we get especially in the Sacraments.
PART 2-Feb 1
Talk 1-The Sign of the Male and Female Bodies and The Beauty of Sexuality
- Intro-recap from last talk.
- The SIGN of Marriage in the Complementarity of the Bodies
- Think of various signs in everyday life. Stop sign. Means STOP! But I can say, I have freedom; I don't have to stop-act it out where 4 kids bang into each other as they pretend to drive and don't stop at the sign. Or what about the Liberty Bell/Flag means FREEDOM. But I can say, I have freedom; I will use my freedom to kill all of these people. No, God puts limits on freedom for our happiness.
- Think of the human body-male and female 1 Cor 6:20 "glorify God in your bodies."
- What does the male body symbolize?
- Rough, Tough, and Buff! Facial hair on men. Huge stature. Big muscles. Hairy chest! Yipes! God made guys have such bodies…why? What is it a sign of? Strength-so, since guys are free, can a guy use his strength any way he wants?? Beat a girl? (My student my first year of teaching, I saw a big boy hit a small girl really hard. Is this the way the male body is supposed to be used? My friend whose husband beat her-are they true to what their body symbolizes?) No, the male body symbolizes strength so that men will help and protect. (Ex. My 3 brothers came over to my house to move furniture-My sisters and I are not strong enough. They served me. EX. Protect: My former student, Fernando, protects his sister---even to the point of death).
- The male sexual organ-What is being masculine a sign of: Initiating-going toward another in a loving gift of self to form a one-flesh union. GIVING!! Men represent God who initiates, gives, sheds His flesh and blood for us. So, for a boy to say, I am free to do whatever I want with my body, even to use a girl, he is violating God' sign in his body-to give flesh and blood to the world in a loving way. Remember we talked about the male body symbolizing strength and protection. Raise your hand if you think that the man who abused my friend by breaking dishes, throwing her clothes out the window, and hitting her is using his male strength the correct way as God designed it. NO ONE raised his/her hand. Good. Then why would society say that if a boy uses a girl sexually that he is a true man. A male who beats up a female is NOT a true man-his body is lying. The same is true for leading a girl on sexually-and I am not only talking about intercourse-that male is NOT being a man. A man LOVES when it is difficult. You guys, you would be true defenders of girls if you respected them and the beauty of their personhood, not using their bodies as some sort of toy. Defend her dignity as a woman. Die for her-like Fernando did-and more likely the way you die for her is by setting aside your lust to wait for your wife.
- What does the female body symbolize?
- Soft curves/no prickly facial or chest hair/beautiful face/eyes/hair What are these features of the female body a sign of? Welcoming and embracing. Whereas men by their stature alone may be feared, women were made by God to bring people to them so as to be loved.
- Womb-open space to welcome others. The woman's body is made by God so that a baby inside of her is warm, safe, and fed-a mother with an unborn child inside has to make sure she eats well so her baby gets good nutrition. She loves the baby and is in relationship with the baby before any other human person. Women, too, may say, "I have freedom with my body-I can do whatever I want with it. I can murder the baby that lives inside my womb." Is that a true woman? Just like the man who beats a woman or a man who uses a woman for his sexual gratification is selfish-and he is lying with his body, so the woman who has an abortion goes totally against what her body symbolizes-welcoming and safety and love-turns into murder in the name of freedom. (Caveat-my experience with college students who have had abortions-Project Rachel, they can be forgiven. But why do they later experience grief? Because they did not glorify God in their bodies. They lied with their bodies).
- Breasts-What are these a symbol of? Nurturing/feeding others. We were made by God to take care of babies. In our bodies, we can feed others. What about the girls who say, it's my body-I can be in a magazine for men to look at. Instead of the sacredness of the breasts symbolizing sustaining of life for a baby to have nourishment, the girls lie with their bodies and hurt men who get addicted to pornography.
- The female sexual organ-open to allow another to enter her. Her sexuality is a sign of RECEIVING another into her very body. But that union forms a one-flesh union for one person only. A girl can say, I have the freedom to do whatever with my body-any guy, any place. But that is a lie. It hurts her. Raise your hand if you think a prostitute is using her body for God's glory? Isn't it the same when girls let guys do whatever? What is the difference? Both let men use them. Why do you think diseases flourish in people who fool around? Because God designed the female body to receive from one man only in her life, because we women really need the security of knowing we will always be loved. Eph. 5-making her spotless
Pope John Paul II says, the man is mainly "He who loves."
The woman is mainly, "She who IS loved."
Talk 2-The Sign of Marriage and Sexuality
- Intro-1 Jn 4:7-8 God is love. 3 persons
- God invented sex and sexuality. It is a form of worship. Marital intercourse is beautiful; it combats the devil who hates. Marital intercourse shows total love…it participates in Jesus' love on the Cross (draw diagram). So when people engage in foreplay, arousing each other before marriage, they are desecrating the truth of love, esp. intercourse. How does God love? 4 F's: Free, Full, Faithful, Fruitful
- Free-No one can force someone to love him/her. (Act out caveman dragging a woman, forcing her to be his wife!) In order for us to love, we must be free. So, let me tell you about some things that take away your freedom.
- Pornography and watching R-Rated films really affects one's imagination. It becomes addictive. I know at least 3 of my guy friends who started looking into porn when they were about your age, and 2 still have problems with it, while 1 has been cured-but he knows it is still a weakness.
- Cohabitation-Fake-Would you fake being a priest? A Doctor? Then why would you fake a vocation of being married?
- Full-Married people are to give their all to their spouses always.
Will you pick up the kids? No. I want to watch TV-MY time.
Will you buy medicine for me, honey; I have a cough-no MY money.
Will you give me your total self in the most intimate natural act humans can participate in the whole universe-no, it's MY fertility. (Girls-why on pill-means your sick. Is your femininity a disease?
- Faithful-Story of Zack and Erin Barcevac
To engage in foreplay leading up to intercourse, you are saying, I will be faithful to you always. Are you ready to say that? You are lying otherwise.
- Fruitful-Main point of marriage-to give the gift of self so as to form an unbreakable bond which then may produce babies. BABIES. How many of you are ready to raise a child? No hands. Then you are not ready for marriage-not ready for foreplay or intercourse.
Comparison-Mass and the Car.
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