TOBET—Engaged Encounter

I.                   Introduction of Pope John Paul II’s Theology of Body and its Relationship to Marriage

1.         Why now?

1.         With a society dominated by the denigration of sex in the prominence of pornography, abortion (which allows for sex without consequences), TV and film depicting one night stands, etc. Pope John Paul wanted to reach people to let them know about the sacredness of sex.

2.        With a society dominated by the individualistic, autonomous self, Pope John Paul wanted to reach people to let them know about the decision to enter into marriage is not only for the future spouses; it is a communal decision, affecting the Church and affecting society at large. One’s own decision makes an impact on others.

2.        What is the TOB’s relationship to Marriage?

1.         God’s plan from all eternity for a communion of persons among all humans and God becomes visible in marriage. Marriage is an icon for our teleos, our final goal of heaven, our purpose in life!

2.        Marriage finds its immense nobility and holiness in that it reflects and derives its grace from Christ, the Bridegroom, and His Bride, the Church (Eph. 5).

II.                  The Term, Theology of the Body

A.        The Body reveals the person

1.         We have a soul—we know we are here because our bodies reveal us. (St. Paul’s teachings)

2.        We would not know others without our bodies to receive the other—our ears hear, our eyes see. We need our bodies.

 

B.        The Body reveals God.

1.         By simply looking at the body, we know we were meant to be in friendship with others. Hands for shaking. Arms for hugging. Lips for kissing loved ones. Eyes to look into to show love. Imagine the opposite. Orcs from Lord of the Rings, guns for hands, etc. (Story of my 7^th grade boys and playdoh—making ugly figurines, the opposite of the way God made us). But God made us beautiful.

2.        Jesus says in Matthew 19: “In the beginning” showing what humans are supposed to be like before the Fall.

3.        Genesis 2:18: “It is not good for man (Adam) to be alone.”

4.        Genesis 2:25: “The man and woman were naked and unashamed.” This shows that they knew that were to be gifts to one another. They knew because of the complementarity of the bodies that they can say, “This is my body, given,” and so know the meaning of life which is to give. The “nuptial meaning of life.”

5.        The body reveals God because the male and female bodies go together, and so a husband and wife form a “one-flesh union” (Eph. 5 and Gen 2), making a communion of persons. The deepest thing that can be said about God, “God is love” (1 Jn 4) has everything to do about God being a communion of persons in God’s very nature—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit loving each other from all eternity.

 

III.                 The Sacramentality of Marriage

A.        Definition of Sacrament—An outward sign, instituted by Christ, entrusted to the Church which signifies what it gives: grace (God’s very own, inner divine life from all eternity). Pope John Paul says that sacraments “inject sanctity” into one’s life.

B.        Marriage is the “Primordial Sacrament,” according to JP II’s TOB.

1.         It gives the form to all the other sacraments. Matrimony is the “foundation of the whole sacramental order” (9/29/82).

2.        “The body (as male and female) not only indicates ‘body’ but also the ‘incarnate’ communion of persons and calls for this communion” (11/14/79).

C.        The Matter and Form of Matrimony

1.         The vows—free consent. This is why things like co-habitation and pornography could be impediments to a true union. Grounds for annulment—live together first and engaged in sex/intense foreplay.

2.        The conjugal, one-flesh union of the spouses by virtue of their gift of self through the “language of the body” as male and female. JP II says: “We can then say that the essential element for marriage as a sacrament is the ‘language of the body’ in its aspect of truth. It is precisely by means of that, that the sacramental sign is, in fact, constituted” (1/12/83).

D.        Indissolubility of Marriage

1.         Based on the faithfulness of Christ’s love for the Church. (Eph 5). “At the very basis of an understanding of marriage in its very essence is the spousal relationship of Christ to the Church” (8/18/82).

2.        All true marriages, even natural ones, participate in Christ’s marriage to the Church because that is the ultimate communion of persons among humans and God. (The same thing goes with love—the only true love there is is God—“God is love” so if people really love, it has to be with the love among the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

IV.                 The Profundity of Marriage

A.        Differences between husband and wife: “The husband is above all he who loves and the wife, on the other hand, is she who is loved. The wife’s ‘submission’ to her husband understood in the context of the entire passage (Eph 5)…, signifies above all ‘the experiencing of love”…” reflecting the Church’s submission to and experiencing Christ’s love” (9/1/82). Husbands are to shed their flesh and blood for their brides, just like Jesus shed his flesh and blood on the Cross—continued in the Eucharist—for his Bride, the Church.

B.        Conjugal union is liturgical! (2/9/83). We worship God with our bodies—that is why we have sacraments which always have to be sense-perceptible. For the married couple, they are worshipping God if their union is based on Jesus’ love for the Church.

V.                  Preparation for Marriage

A.        Live the virtues—from chastity to charity, not just with one’s fiancé but with all.

B.        Be faithful to the Church’s teachings, not because the Church does not want to let us “have fun” but for the sake of your future marriage.

C.        Be holy people, especially by frequenting the sacraments and having prayer time.

D.        Ask St. Joseph and our Lady to help you to see more and more what the domestic church you are about to form means.

E.        Be brave. If it is your calling to marry this person, know that Jesus can see you through. If it is not to be your vocation, break it off and live with the pain beforehand.

VI.                 The Most Important Words of the Universe: This is my body.

 

Question for Dialogue:

In juxtaposition to the typical, societal understanding of marriage/sex, how does knowing that marital intercourse is liturgical affect your intention to enter in to union with your future spouse?