Relationships in light of the Theology of the Body

1. Why do we have "opposite sexes"? (better yet "complimentary sexes")
   1. We were made in the image of God, body and soul. So the characteristics of our bodies point to spiritual realities, (thus we can have a theology of the body)
   2. The complementarity of male and female was designed by God to convey His plan for us: union and fruitfulness with Him. Without complementarity, there could be no uniting or fruitfulness.
   3. God desires to be united with us in much the same way a husband and wife are united with one another. Jesus came to do this, not just to save us from sin.
   4. The male body reveals God’s side of the relationship between God and humanity: the role of initiator
   5. The female body expresses the role played by the Church, the body of Christ: the role of receiving God’s gift of himself and returning this love by her gift of self as well as by bearing fruit
   6. Thus Christ came as a man and the Church is always referred to in the feminine or as Bride
   7. Eph 5 confirms this by making a spousal analogy: Christ and the husband play a similar role in the spousal analogy and the Church and the Bride play a similar role
2. The union of Christ with the Church is the model for all relationships between the sexes
   1. The union Christ established with the Church (as Eph 5 points out) was accomplished on the cross where Christ demonstrated us what kind of love He has for us
   2. Marriage is a sacramental participation in Christ’s union of love with the Church. It is a sharing in the covenant that unites Christ with His body, His bride.
   3. When marriage is lived properly, it shows us what it means to "Love one another as Christ has loved us." The greatest commandment
   4. God has given us marriage as the fullest expression of relationships between the sexes, therefore it sheds light on all other levels of relationships. It demonstrates the principles underlying how we are to love the opposite sex, thus it is vital for celibates and singles
   5. It is also very important for married people and those considering marriage because in order to enter into sacramental marriage, the couple must intend to enter into the love that Christ has for the Church.
   6. Without this intention, there is no sacrament because the couple does not embody the love that unites Christ and the Church. One reason why there are so many annulments is that many people outwardly enter into marriage but inwardly do not intend to enter into this love. I.e. if one person is not open to having children.
   7. Therefore we can see many reasons why it is important to understand the kind of love shown by Christ on the cross, and to grow in loving this way so that we may grow in holiness.
3. How Christ loved the Church
   1. In Christ’s death we can discern four major aspects of His love:
      
      A gift of self that is
      
      Full: He gave His life to the point of dying
      
      Free: "Nobody takes my life from me, I lay it down freely."
      
      Faithful: "And behold I am with you, even till the end of time."
      
      Fruitful: "And He handed over His spirit."…leads to Pentecost the birthday of the Church, the community of all believers who are the fruit of His death
      
      
   2. Another way to understand this love is to contrast it with its opposite
      
      Lust: treating the other as less than a person who is free to give themselves to you in love, using some kind of force to compel them to "love" you
      
      Guys often do this by: objectifying women as merely a means to their own sexual pleasure. No desire to give, sacrifice, or love, only the desire to get, take, and use.
      
      Girls often do this by: taking advantage through immodest actions and dress of men’s weakness in order to get what they want. "If men are driven by lust, then I am going to use that to my advantage to get what I want" even when what they are trying to get is "love"
      
      
   3. Sexual desire is a strong motivator in us which helps us to love as Jesus did on the cross, which is to become holy, but when it is oriented or fixed on use (as it is in lust) it drives us in the opposite direction
   4. Ways to take advantage of sexual desire to have good relationships (rather than lustful ones) with the opposite sex (aka Ideas for how to love as Jesus did on the cross)
4. Sexual desire can be "channeled" into these areas:
   1. Self possession: the power to do what is right even when you are tempted to (for example) lust after or use another can be gained by self-knowledge (gained through reflection on the situations in your life in prayer) and self-control (gained through mortifications like fasting and through learning about and practicing the virtues)
   2. Commitment: giving fully and faithfully to your friends (particularly those you are dating or your spouse) even when it is difficult (for example when it is difficult not sin) in order to help them get to heaven. If you truly love them, you will want them to be happy, and this means helping them get to heave.
   3. Courting: (aka "dating") coming to know certain people at a deeper level in order to find out if God is calling you to marry a certain person; loving your date fully, freely, faithfully, and fruitfully, particularly in their weak places; letting your love give life in the ways that are appropriate to single people.
5. The opposite sex was created by God to lead us to heaven
   1. Not to distract us
   2. Shows us the ecstasy He has planned for us
   3. Allows us to share in God’s unitive and procreative (fruitful) love
   4. Gives us a chance to grow in love and holiness through our interactions with every person we meet by loving them fully, freely, faithfully, and fruitfully.

Resources:
We have truly just scratched the surface of the Pope’s theology of the body.

For more information on this topic I want to encourage you to take advantage of a few excellent resources on this topic.

First I want to recommend you to the TOBET web-site at www.tobet.org.

Tobet is a non profit organization that is dedicated to spreading the pope’s TOB. TOBET serves the Church as a speaking beau rue on the TOB and we place a transcript or outline of all our works on this site.

I also want to point you to the gift foundation. The gift foundation has a wonderful ministry that includes providing extremely low cost and quality materials on this topic. They can be found at www.giftfoundation.org

Finally, I want to point you to the books of two authors, Christopher West’s GNASM and TOB Explained and also anything written by our Pope but especially his TOB and Love and Responsibility.

Thank you for your time.


Annie Vining can be contacted at avining@tobet.org

The Theology of the Body Evangelization Team can be reached at info@tobet.org